Sickipedia

The other day it was our wedding anniversary, and I told my wife "she was like Heroin." ”Why, because I'm potent dangerous and once you try me you get addicted?” She giggled. ”No”, I replied, ”because you've fucking ruined my life.”

Felixcruthes big fat mamma loves to lie with her legs wide open and the family dog in licking the spunk

A cop caught me in the toilets with a bag of drugs. “It’s not my fault,” I said, “Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again.” “Do you really expect me to believe that?” he laughed. I said, “I’ll prove it to you if you want me to!” “Go on then.” he smiled, handing me the bag. After flushing them, he looked at me and said, “Well, show me your pocket then.” “What for?” I asked . He said, “The drugs.” I said, “What drugs

MMMMMMM.... RATTLER, SHITNOSE AND SUPERGRASS... THAT TRIPLE LUBE-LESS ARSE RAMMING WITH BROKEN GLASS ON YOUR COCKS WAS AMAZING!!! PLEASE ALL COME BACK ROUND TONIGHT AFTER I GET HOME FROM THE LOCAL MOSQUE. I'M GOING TO LET ALL THE MUZZIES EAT YOUR SPUNK OUT MY ARSE.

Addict who blew £1.5 million gambling on Betfair sues company to get his money back. I hope he wins his case. He'll be able to make some awesome bets on Paddy Power for a few weeks.

I watched that Paul Merson program on gambling addiction and went straight on my Ladbrokes app. I got 3-1 on the fucker relapsing before the years out.

I asked my doctor for his opinion on when the covid pandemic would be over. He replied "How the hell would I know? I'm a doctor not a politician"

I met ducky Dennis today he said I'm a type one diabetic on insulin but its it's ok as Quenten gives me a prick every night. oooooooo

I've just been told that I'm at risk of contracting Agateophobia. The worry is driving me insane

I bet you £4,150.95 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.