Sickipedia

I fell down the stairs and broke my cock after slipping on my wife’s miscarriage she dripped all over the floor after not keeping it all in her kecks earlier. “Fucking Hell, babe, my pork sword is bent to fuck and I’m covered in the cells of our child.” I then farted on her face and shit in her mouth and made her eat the shit and suck in the fart. I also decided to shit in her cunt to block any more miscarriage from dripping out of her cunt.

Why do ducks, geese and pigs like to dance, sing, get drunk, and celebrate every single occasion? Because they're pâté animals.

There was this local Artist who did pictures of the Monkees. She captured Micky Dolenz teeth, Mike Nesmith's bobble hat and Davy Jones boyish good looks. Even her Pete Tork looked lifelike. Then I saw her trace. She's one big Deceiver!!! Stop that band wagon, I want to get on.

I had the gas fire removed from the living room yesterday…….’cos I know what Santa is bringing me for Christmas.

This Kawasaki virus is nothing new, I suffered from it in the 1970s, I only recovered when I changed to a Honda CM200.

I fucking told the gagrge I worked at I had a nut allergy. But they still sacked me when all the wheels fell off.

The clocks went back an hour on Sunday and so did the Doomsday Clock, so we can look forward to five months of unfettered peace, bliss. Just realised the same clock will go forward an hour near the end of March then the shit will hit the fan !

I have just finished reading the greatest works of fiction ever written. A Bee Network bus timetable and a fat girl's FB profile

My dad always said "when one door shuts, another one opens" He never could sell that Skoda.

I pulled a nose hair out today to see if it would hurt. Judging by the reaction the bloke asleep next to me on the bus, it fucking does.