Sickipedia

One of the positives with doing grandma up the arse nowadays, is since she had the bag fitted it's not as messy .

What happened to little Alfie Evans was terrible and his parents went through hell. I'm delighted they now have a new son and wish them well. That said, I am a little disturbed that after spending all day at hospital watching little Alfie die a slow and merciless death, they went home and fucked each others brains out.

"I've never been so embarrassed in my life after you farting in church. " "It was silent and an accident. Who cares?" "Yes, but was it really necessary to use your Bible to waft it around everyone?"

What's dusty and smells of charlie? Camilla Parker-Bowles's cunt.

What's invisible and smells like bamboo? Panda farts.

A lot of the LGBTQ+ community are calling for black and brown stripes to be included in their flag. I think I've found the solution. Rainbow Flag bog roll.

I met my girflriend in a scat club. I said "What's a nice girl like you doing in a dump like this?"

I took a dump on the pavement, pulled up a deckchair and sat watching it. A copper came up to me and said "and what do you think your doing?" I said "nothing, just minding my own business"

I was having a crap and realised that as it plopped into the bowl, the first turd curled round to form a 'P' and the other two droppings looked like two 'Os'. Sometimes this shit just writes itself.

The missus burnt her mouth really badly earlier but I'm guessing from now on she'll remember the difference between magma and smegma!