Sickipedia

Cloud:"Hey sky, calm down or someone will get hurt!" Sky:"I can't, fecal matter in my indian again!"

Kier Starmer's plan of cutting illegal immigration by stopping the flights before they even leave their country of departure? Looks like it's working well

“Art of the deal” my arse… it should be 4 planes to make it quits for 9-11.”

I don't get it. Whenever I go holiday with the missus she's always trying to cram in just one more piece of clothing in to the suitcase and "it's not a big deal" but when I do the same with packs of cigarettes in to her vagina on the way home because there's no space in the case, then I'm the freak and need to get help?

Many years ago, I was walking through the streets of New York when I walked into the World Trade Center. I asked the receptionist if I could buy an aeroplane. She looked puzzled and said, "We don't sell aeroplanes". "That's funny", I replied. "I saw one in the window".

Virgin Galactic launch first space flight today at a cost of £450k per passenger - think I will wait for Ryanairs £9.99 christmas offer

Watching plane spotting on youtube, I was asked what my favourite plane was. Apparently the planes that flew into the trade centre towers got me banned.

I shat myself when I saw the second plane hit the building. It's because I was a baby

I can still remember where I was when the twin towers fell. Sitting in front of the telly coming up with jokes about the twin towers falling.

Mistletoe and farts