Sickipedia

I'm on holiday in Thailand with my gay son but I've been arrested over a small misunderstanding. My son, rest his soul, told me he wanted to try a youth in Asia. On the plus side, I might be able to get a refund on his unused air ticket back to England.

Oh Lennywankstain, come out to play....... You sad megalomaniac waste of semen......!! 💦

"Dad, today we were learning in school about how last names came from what people did hundreds of years ago, and the other kids all started making fun of me." "I'll hear no more of this, young man, you should be proud to be a Dickinson".

A school friend once said, "If their old enough to bleed, their old enough to butcher." Well he was Indian!

Sky news " British children who drowned off Spanish coast named" Gonna guess it's not Bob and Flo

76 year old arrested after trying to poison children with his speciality. Egg Fried Ricin

What kind of cheese do you use to blindfold a horse? -Couple of slices of Edam works well in my experience.

Just found out that Aquaman actress Amber Heard has a child named Ocean. Bet the little fucker is happy she never did porn.

My son's coke habit is getting dire. That's what his dentist told me.

What do you say to a child who successfully cooks a steak? Well done.