Sickipedia

"Phrases you may hear at the dinner table or in the bedroom" I like my mums better.

I was out pushing my new baby daughter in her pram when my fucking nosy neighbour stopped me to have a look and make the usual stupid goo goo noises, "Wow, she's beautiful, "she said, "I can definitely see you in her. " "Yes, " I replied, " so can I, but I'll probably wait until at least puberty first though. "

What people in the UK call their Mother: Yorkshire: Mum Midlands: Mom North East: Mam Ireland: Ma Norwich: Wife 1 Comment

A 10 year old girl goes up to her mother and says "Mummy. I've got some blood coming from my frufru." "It's ok darling. It means you're growing up" her mum said "You need to start using something called a tampon to mop up the blood. It's shaped like a mans willy to help it slide in easily" Little girl says "Yes mummy. It started after Uncle Billy did that"

Katie Price shares a bed with her son Harvey. They play, throwing the hotdog up the hallway.

I have a very sick little girl at home. She's only eleven but loves taking it up the shitter.

My town just had its annual incest competition... I entered my sister!

I got home from work last night, and caught my sister masturbating with a carrot. "FFS" I thought, "I was going to eat that later. Now it's gonna taste like carrot!"

Me: “Mom, can I go to the restroom now? You’ve been in there for three hours!” Mom: “Not now! I’m busy raping your baby brother!”

You're a fucking cunt. You think this is funny? It's about as funny as waking with semen dribbling from your arse. Why don't you just fuck off you fucking cunt? Fuck me you fucking wind me up you fucking wanker.