Sickipedia

Certain Formula 1 fans seem to really enjoy saying that Lewis Hamilton couldn't lace Michael Schumacher's boots. Firstly, it's not a competition and secondly, it's also not much of an insult since Michael Schumacher can't even lace his own boots.

Michael Schumacher was awarded the French Legion Of Honour in 2010. Fuck, just how fast could he drive backwards?

Lewis Hamilton is changing his name to include his mother's. He'll know be known as Mrs Cunt.

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now. This is nothing to do with the recent death of the bass player from The Smiths. I've just heard that they are filming a new series of Mrs Browns Boys.

Mick Schumacher lands Ferrari role as he bids to follow in illustrious dad's footsteps. As long as he doesn't follow his dad's ski tracks he should be ok.

My grandad really is the Michael Schumacher of the family, he sits motionless in the corner mumbling incoherently to himself.

Insurance companies express concerns as 7,000 scousers file claims for whiplash injuries sustained in “a fookin car crash in Spain, lad.”

Before the crash, I wonder if Lewis Hamilton shouted "on me 'ead, son"?

Good news. A new series of ‘Michael McIntyre is a Cunt’ starts next Saturday on BBC1, so we’ll have to spend longer in the pub.

Michael Schumacher's Doctor says he cannot perform miracles. Apparently, neither can his Doctor.