Sickipedia

I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk. I go to parties.

I'm in a bad place right now.... ... not mentally, I just mean I'm in Newcastle

If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down. Well these days my piss is brown.

I was wanking with a beer bottle shoved up my arse. Now I've got that Corona virus

Hi Markrees my bestest friend in the whole wide world Hope you are very well..as for me im not very happy the water in Majorca dont taste like what it outta. Ive stop taking my medication ive bought Sixteen cans of Tauris cider for £7.56 from the Aldi im going to drink the lot and then im going back on the rape. Fuck the lot of ya Shower of cunts..not you Markrees youre my best fuckin pal

Big shout out to Amy Winehouse 7-years sober this month.

I'm in rehab....Get me out of here !!!

Pete Hegseth promised there would be 'no more woke at the Pentagon', and he's kept his word. He had a skinful at lunchtime and passed out at his desk.

'I am two years sober today!' 'Well, I am two days sober this year.'

'Sorry, boss, I'm not going to make it into work today. A bluebottle got into my mouth last night.' 'What? What the hell kind of an excuse is that to miss work?' 'It was a litre of Haig.'