Sickipedia

Fer fucksake weavrdog Im not cockhole but I do love a bit of karma

I went to see the doctor with a nasty rash on the top of my leg. I told him "the weird thing is when I squeeze the pus out of the pimples, I hear the latest tunes playing " He said "oh you have a severe case of spotty thigh".

My brother is a big prog rock and loves the band YES. In the 70s and 80s he actually asked jon anderson the lead singer to fart into a bottle and cork it so he could sell it one day .. He's kept it down in his cellar for years, He was sorting some junk out, and he heard a muffled voice coming from the bottle " you haven't been to see me for years, leaving me on my own down here you selfish twat" he's....The owner of a lonely fart

My schizophrenic mate keeps having a voice in his head telling him to do really dumb shit It's called 'the science'

The current PM has made a pigs ear of Brexit, most people would probably agree that it is only a matter of time before another rises to dip their snout in the trough of power. Whilst flicking through the online news sites this morning I was confronted with a picture of a smiling Michael Gove. Before I could do anything about it, a thought sprang to mind “he would make a good alternative to May as PM”. I subsequently shuddered but too late, the thought is already out there ! I need help to deal with this inopportune brain spasm. Please, can anyone on this site give me useful advice on how to cope, to and suppress that thought. Thank you all, in advance.

Loris Karius has revealed he had concussion on the night he made a cunt of himself in the Champions League final. He claims he was hit over the head by a South Yorkshire copper.

I'm almost certain someone is tampering with my anti-paranoia medication.

Got some insect repellant spray, it says on the can that it may cause hallucinations. Personally I don't believe it but the flies swear it's true.

A kid lives in an inflatable world . One day he finds a pin, without thinking he sticks it in his mum then his dad and watches the air rush out. Like a mad yank school kid with an automatic rifle, he goes on the rampage round his school, sticking all the kids then popping the building . Finally he corners the headmaster sticks the pin in him then thinks" fuck it" and stabs himself . As the air's rushing out of the deflating headmaster, he looks at the boy and shakes his head and says ... "You've let your parents down, you've let the school down, you've let me down, but worst of all you've let yourself down"

There's this big orange rabbit who's been going around telling everyone I've stopped taking my medication.