Sickipedia

It's easier to buy a gun in America than it is to log on to Pornhub in the UK.

imigrants will hav to ave a least a level standrd in inglish to work in ingland fank fuk its only immigrants and forinners

My mate said he didn’t understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.

"Always help those worse off than yourself and always put others first," my old dad used to say. Lovely fellow, terrible Tory.

My cunt of a neighbour keeps stabbing my lads footballs every time they go into his garden. Anyway, got my own back today, his toddler crawled into my garden.

Just painted the kids faces with the George cross before I take them to the park. Hopefully the council will come and take them away.

I never thought my wife would leave me because of my Monkees addiction... ...then I saw her case... fuck it, try again...come on cunty, dupe this fucker.

I smiled at a woman on the train and she said "When you smile at me I want to invite you to my place" "Are you single?" I asked her. "No, I'm a dentist" she replied.

I pointed out to this woman in Asda the dangers of all the fat and alcohol she had in her trolley, the dangers it was doing to her body, not to mention the the murdering of animals. "I'll bet your fun at parties, " she snapped at me. Stupid bitch, as though I ever get invited to parties.

I was walking through single mother land with two bags of shopping because the wife wasn't well when a girl about nineteen pushing a pram and two other raggy arse brats running around her said to me, "Awe, I wish my baby's daddy would do the shopping for us. " "He might do Chantel if you knew his fucking name. " I answered.