Sickipedia

(courtesy of sex bomb Jo brand) "What's your favourite machine at the Gym?" "The vending machine"

My mate goes to the gym religiously every week. He looks like a right cunt on the treadmill dressed as a vicar.

Fallon Sherrock. Finally a darts player with small tits.

I often stare at a prominent sign on the wall at my Gym that declares, "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE". And every time I think "Whoever wrote that never tried to cancel their membership."

Why all the fuss about the black Irish gymnast that didn't get a medal? You never see white people in the 100 metres complaining.

'36-year-old man died after collapsing while running the London Marathon' I read as I mysteriously survived sitting on the couch drinking beer and smoking fags.

Didn't take long for Emma Raducanu to become shit at tennis when she found out she was English.

Caught this girl watching me at the gym so, in an effort to impress her, I decided to jump on the treadmill for a bit. After some funny looks and a few comments I thought, maybe I should jog on it instead.

Pope selected for first Ashes match Cricket - from racial abuse to child abuse in just a few short weeks

I was waiting by the desk in a dingy gym when this huge bodybuilder sidled up to me. “Are you the guy with the 'roids?” he whispered furtively. I said “No, I just didn’t feel like sitting down.”