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Illness and Mortality
Total Post
14581
Today Post
14581
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Updated On
one month ago
My wife's a florist but her business isn't doing well. So I ran a five year old kid over outside her shop.
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Ellie Goldstein has chosen her opening dance piece. George Formby's classic, When I'm Licking Windows.
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I phoned the vet because my dog had a high temperature. He prescribed mustard, best thing for a hot dog...
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Sad to hear that Patricia Routledge has kicked the bouquet
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"Oh dear, " laughed my wife as she opened a letter, "my cunt has cancer, ". Jesus, " I said, "how can you laugh? I didn't even know you'd been for a scan. " "Oh no, " she answered, "not me, I've opened your test results from the doctor. "
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The last thing my dad said to me was to call me a selfish prick. Dialysis machine or not, my phone was down at 20% and that's not a risk I was prepared to take.
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I never answer my phone unless I recognise the caller. The supervisor thinks I may not be cut out to man the Samaritans help line.
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Jota was dead and buried in Portugal quicker than Maddie McCann.
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A pensioner died eating paint, thinking it was yoghurt. Thoughts are with his family during this emulsional time.
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