Sickipedia

"Beam me out of here Scotty before some cunt shoots me in the neck....fuck...too late. "

They say that one out of every four people has the potential to be a serial killer. So I killed three of my close friends. I should be safe now.

I'm working hard to put an end to Modern Slavery. Let's bring back the good old-fashioned type with chains, sticks and hobbling.

Just how evil must Tony Blair be if Hamas don't want him in charge of anyrhing

If you ever find yourself doing a Q&A at an American University, do NOT say: Let's have a quickfire round.

"My friends and family are coming over," I said, "hide all the silver and valuables." "Are they thieves?," asked my wife. "No," I replied, "They might recognise it."

Prince Andrew has written a song about his recent adventures in an Indian kindergarten It's called, " Quimful of Asha from the under-5s "

I've just been charged with terror offences and face up to 14 years in the nick That's the last time I hold a sign for a sweet old lady while she goes for a piss

Prince Andrew gives up Royal titles after showdown with the King That's nice, but when is he going to stop fucking kids?

Teacher: "Now children, can anyone give me an example of the Wild West?" Pupil: "25 Cromwell Street, Miss?"