Mohamed walks into a library and asks for a book on Brexit,
The Librarian shouts, from a distance,
“Fuck off!, you Paki cunt!”.
“That’s the one” ...
A guy came up to me and told me I look a lot like Jesus.
Which is ironic because if he'd seem my porn collection he'd think I was Mohammed.
Birthday celebrations are suicide preventions.
Heard of that new Swedish pop group?
Sean, son of Worzel Gummidge actor Jon has accused comedian Steve Cougan of rape.
Police have said they will fully investigate the alleged Partridg ...
"As an accomplished canine disciplinarian I was deeply honoured to be appointed 'Spanker of the King's Weiner...'"
I had a hot tip at the bookies today.
I burnt my cock on the radiator.
What’s the difference between a TV remote control and Jamie Bulger’s arsehole?
You can only fit 4 batteries in a TV remote control.
I've just lost a darts final to sister Mary from the local convent
I'm second to nun
Do they know it's Christmas time at all....
I fucking hope so they're making my new shoes
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