Warning labels are stupid. I bought some Deodorant and it says on the can, "Avoid Contact with Eyes"
TOO LATE, I've already seen it.
An explorer is in deepest Africa when he's confronted by an angry tribe of cannibals.
He falls to his knees & prays "Please help me God. I'm fucked ...
My girlfriend broke up with me, she thinks I'm childish...
So after I calmed down, took a deep breath, I went to her house, rang the door bell an ...
1918 The British Empire was near it's peak. We used to invade India and wog countries and kick fuck out of them and rule with an Iron fist.
Hey Lisa Armstrong,
That bastard Ant is killing you in the press. I'm on your side. Lets take the cunt for £50m and go and live happily together in ...
Elton John goes to a tattooist and says "I want a Rolls Royce tattooed on my cock".
"You'd be better off with a Land Rover" replies the tattooist, ...
There are two types of red cards
One when you get sent off in a footie match
The other where the postman is to lazy to wait for you to get to the ...
Phoned the Panamanian football manager after the England match to offer my commiserations.
I was put on hold.
Ed Sheeran halts Cardiff show twice to go to the toilet.
To be fair to him though, his music is enough to give anyone the shits.
Guys! Find out what it’s like to be stalked.... by walking past the security guard in 'Boots' dressed in scruffy clothes.
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